Vivienne, How to Be a Good Ally

 


Mental health looks different for everyone. Not everyone is neurotypical, not everyone has a mental illness or disorder. But everyone needs a good group of people to support them. In changing the stigma surrounding mental health, we need to take actual steps beyond being willing to talk about it. 

The semicolon movement is one step to take, but it's not enough. We need to be there for each other. I have a number of friends who have similar struggles, and I know who I can call or text at 2am when I'm spiraling down. I have a really awesome support group, but not everyone does. This is why I want to talk about how to be a good ally--and seeing as how this is Pride Month, this works really well for that too.

Let me preface this by saying it does not matter if you agree with someone's lifestyle or choices. That doesn't matter at all. It's their life, and every human on the planet has free will. They're in charge of their own life. What does matter is how we treat people. So, I've made a list of several things to do if you're going to be a good ally, and a good friend.

First and foremost, the Bible says that the most important thing to do after loving God with our entire being, is to love others, so that's at the top of my list. Love people unconditionally regardless of your own life choices and beliefs. Second, respect. Respect people enough to use the correct names and pronouns, and if you don't know, Ask! And if you mess up, just correct yourself and move on. Nobody's perfect, what matters is trying and getting better through practice.

Thirdly, just be there for them. When people are struggling, oftentimes they just need someone to talk to. That being said, being an active listener is super important. Tied in with point three: four! You don't have to Fix them, just Support them. They need people on their side to be the best person they can be. Super important when we're struggling with the encroaching shadows and all feels hopeless. We just need to be reminded we matter and we have people on our side. 

Fifth goes a step beyond. Be a safe person to be around. Provide a safe space free of judgement for ppl who are struggling with mental health, or who have different views than you. Be someone who extends kindness, love, and mercy rather than ignorance, shame, and judgement. Last point: stick up for your friends when others are unkind, bullying, or shaming them. It's far worse to stand by and watch people tear others down than it is to stick up for them. That's actually a really good measure of friendship, and a way to see what kind of person you are. How willing are you to stand between hurtful people and your friends? I get that confrontation is scary, but sometimes it's as easy as putting your hands over your friend's ears to keep them from hearing rude comments.

These have been Vivienne's hopes and personal expectations (meaning, this is the kind of person I strive to be every day. It's hard, but so worth it.). lol I hope this helps, and thank you for reading! ^_^ The giveaway winner has been chosen and contacted, so thank you to all who entered!

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