Mental Health Through the Holidays


A lot of us neurodivergent people struggle with the holidays. As a kid, it was my favorite time of year. I had time away from school, I got presents, and I got to see my family and eat lots of yummy food. As I've grown older, the holiday sparkles have faded and grown dimmer. 

There are a thousand different reasons for not enjoying the holidays, but it's not all bad. I'm excited to introduce my nephew, who's not quite 2 years old, to our favorite Christmas movies and teach him to make cookies. I want to see him get excited about presents and seeing family and trying new things. 

However, the massive amount of Christmas decorations, the expectations of getting and decorating a tree, putting all the lights up and whatnot, and making sure you have gifts for pretty much everyone you know...it's a lot. It's made me feel a bit like the Grinch. Not angry at the holiday itself, but annoyed by all the decor and overt CHRISTMAS everywhere. As someone with anxiety and depression, my threshold for being overwhelmed is a lot lower than a lot of people. So I get overwhelmed a lot faster. 

I have learned some things which may help you. For one thing, know your limits. Have an exit plan. If you're going to a friend's or family's party, give yourself permission to only stay for an hour or two or however long you know you can comfortably handle. When you want to leave, you can either give them no explanation (something like, hey, I gotta go, thanks for having me!) or something easy and simple (I have a few things to take care of at home) or whatever is appropriate for the people you're with.

Another thing is to give yourself permission to not meet everyone's expectations. You're under no contractual obligation to exchange presents, help set up and take down for the family party, or to spend your entire holiday somewhere you don't want to be. Also, yeah, people are going to ask pointed questions, they always do. However, you're the one living Your life. Don't let your family's expectations for your life overshadow what You want for yourself.

Instead of wishing you a happy holiday season, I wish you peace and understanding and a holiday season that doesn't make you anxious, nervous, angry, or exhausted. I love you all!


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